The Living Sea (Part Two!)

The Living Sea

Beneath the weathered wharf, the water swelled, throbbed, and breathed. In cavernous breaths the wharf was pushed upwards, held there for a tense moment, then lowered to its resting position as water was expelled from beneath. Inhale, exhale. A breath, a sigh. Over and over again, an unseen belly drew in the water and expanded in voluminous balloon form, only to deflate gently in the end. Old Man Sea was alive and well and living beneath the wharf.

Now, on to the good part! (Just joking!)

WARNING! The following text is incredibly juvenile and offensive to some people.  Reader discretion is advised.

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.  Actually, it was a pretty mediocre time.  I couldn't seem to come up with any more deep sea metaphors...hey...deep sea.  Get it?  DEEP sea...it's a double entendre...no?  Anyways, Old Man Sea was kind of a deuche, not literally, but he just seemed to have an outward disposition that just made you want to refer to him as something along those lines, or you know, kick him in the nuts...one of those two.  One quick note: Old Man Sea is an actual person, we just call him that though.  He's a homeless old guy named Steve who lives under one of the wharfs around the area.  He's also kind of you know...bat shit crazy, so that just adds to his overall aesthetic. (Great character development!)

One day, Steve broke into a top secret government laboratory, (they just seem to have those in the oddest places, huh?), and stole a weapon the military was developing to harness the power of the sea.  Realistically, it was just an over-glorified super soaker that made cool whooshing sounds when it was shot.  Imagine having one of those as a kid when you were having water-gun fights...you probably would have kicked a tremendous amount of ass.  Now we get to the part about why Steve is a deuche.  He used this super soaker to wipe out my entire coastal village.  Yes, I live in a village on the coast...not a modern town...it's 2011...it's also a personal choice. 

So, now that he's destroyed my home, I'm trying to track this old guy down and seek revenge for the pain and suffering he has caused my people.  It's pretty badas actually; they gave me a shotgun, a bowie knife, pretty well everyhting you need to kill a psychotic old guy.  Hey look, there he is.  Aww, look at him!  He's all scruffy, and has a yellow raincoat on with matching boots!  And he's splashing in the puddles, look how happy he is!  How could I ever want to hurt...hey, Steve, why are you looking at me like that?  Oh God, he has the gun...he's pointing it at me now...I hope this doesn't turn into an old man rape scenario...

Fuck.